Dear Sons What A Difference A Year Makes

(written in the SUmmer of 2015)

A little more than a year ago I worked for assholes galore. I woke up at 3:45am every morning, not because my body was accustomed but because I suffered from anxiety and stress and for years had not been able to achieve a full night's sleep beyond three hours. I binged at night on food or alcohol to self medicate myself to get through the days and weeks and months. My goals were to live long enough to see each of you get into college and then graduate without obstacle or financial debt around your necks. I was paid over six figures where I worked but nothing of value was produced there, I was told to fake it so that everyone who WAS faking it could also get paid. It was a multi-million dollar boondoggle of epic proportions and I was forced to be complicit - because I believed I couldn't walk away from the money that we would use to get you beyond living my crap eating job.

For years you watched me change from the energetic, larger than life woman on a mission to make this world (in my own circle and reach) a better place, at least where the three of you could roam without fear and with reality it became obvious that there will never be such a thing. Companies don't give a shit about their employees and they don't even care if they waste millions protecting a reputation that is actually bought and paid for and not earned. The funny thing - this is a side note about countries - is that the English country that own the name and brand and the executives I've met from England actually are more in tune to what I'm talking about but they left the managing of the US side to Americans who don't have a clue nor want one. So while the Brits get all the flack on a universal scale it's the scumbag Americans who are tarnishing the name and ruining the company. Go figure. But I digress. Back to us.

My day was like that of a prison inmate, up at the same hour, forced to go through the dumbest shit by rote, rarely meetings of substance or value with supervisors and managers who couldn't manage shit out of a diaper bag. Blah, blah, blah, payday, collect your check and go. We all know way too many people who think I hit pay dirt! Six figures to do nothing but bullshit! Really?!?! Yet the price was to listen to assholes degrade women and LGBT and Muslims and you name it. The more ignorant you were the more you fit in. It was heinous and torture and well, momma put up with it for you.

It's a year later and Hallelujah! Momma is FREE! Momma is so free and happy that she can't contain herself. Oh we went through some changes but not for what outsiders may think. Because we had always struggled this kind of financial struggle was actually something we spoke of. We switched gears and while not fast enough in some cases it was enough to keep you all exactly where you had to be. The best thing about going from six figures to zero is that all of a sudden you can be eligible for just about everything and boys were WE eligible. We received aid just long enough until momma put her game plan into action.

Yeah, I took a few months. After all it had been over two decades since I'd been without a job but to now have endless days before me where I can sleep in if I wanted was more than this working girl could comprehend! It took months before all my old habits finally began to wash away!

Here we are, a full year later. I get up somewhere between 5am and 7am on any given day (depends on what momma was up to the night before!) and I wake up smiling and listening to the birds outside my windows. It also depends on which city I wake up in but that's more on the journey I took to get me here. I either make myself some coffee or order some. I did the tea for months which I know is much healthier but there's something about having an amazing cup of latte first thing in the morning. I shower and sit down to catch up on distracting but trending news from my several go-to websites for things relevant.

"Without You" by Chase Holfelder (Badfinger Cover)

Please watch and share. It may save a life and teach you something new.

Reputation and Revenue

There was a time integrity was everything. Companies were ruined if their scandals came to light and reputations meant the difference between being on top or ending on the bottom. Nowadays perception becomes the reality so the ones who can manipulate social opinion become king makers and dream breakers.

The beauty of being true to yourself is that you can't really change. People wish they could be more of many things in their professional life, more outspoken, more intuitive when it comes to who to trust but you can't change who you are fundamentally and you can't waste time worrying about things that have come and past. You can of course continue to be you and that can be your greatest asset.

Everyone loves a rags to riches story or a sinner finding faith and therefore peace at the end of the day. In politics and in companies there are so many who strive for their dreams and find themselves being obstacles in the paths of many, some who are not ethical or simply seeking attention and glory by cutting corners and treating others like garbage. Having had just a couple of those in a 30+ year span makes me quite lucky but that pathetic piece of garbage cost that company millions and continues to do so. I could have made taking them down my mission but being me I knew they mattered very little in the scheme of things. After all you get what you paid for and the company backed the lame horse so C'est la vie. Life had way bigger issues to gt involved in and to truly make a difference. So while they lied and tried to besmirch my good name to cover up their crimes I went to mentors whose reputations withstood the test of time, decades of civil rights advocacy, men and women who lived what they offered in advice and I learned the three things that made me realize I'd win no matter what.

1. You Are Never What People Say You Are

We've all taken those tests to help us pinpoint the type of people we are, categorize ourselves for a better understanding on how to present ourselves, for interviews or writing our biographies. Society and big business takes seriously just how we sell ourselves or come across others in group settings. We are not what we say we are, we are not what others say we are. It is hoped that people are clear and truthful when they write their resumes and biographies for profiles like Linkedin but we know there are liars out there and some good ones who get away with portraying themselves as something they are not. Then there are those who are more than they let on because they've not the words or chutzpah to be their own champions. When my boys would come to me disheartened because someone they thought was a friend had turned out to be nothing of the kind I had to explain that people are what they tend to do over a long period of time and not what they say they are.

I also explained that people are going to believe whatever they want about a person and so you shouldn't care. I am grateful for that time "in politics" because it freed me from a lifetime of feeling obligated to be more for others. Once you get targeted by those who wish to paint a different picture you begin to understand that it's a very sick and sad game to many and that real life is how you choose to live your life day to day and who you spend time with and what you devote your time to, not the garbage of gossip mongers. You will always be that picture they paint so simply embrace that picture as a character in a book written by idiots. Embrace all your characters and make them work FOR YOU.

So I taught my sons that "haters are going to hate". Those who don't like you, who wish to cause you or your reputation harm add a spotlight. They'll never change their minds so they are not relevant. Who cares. Those that care will know the truth and those who don't know you will want to get to know you to find out for themselves. As time progresses people end up in one of two categories. Those who believe the hype and so what, they don't pay your bills and those who don't and add positivity to your life. The wonderful thing about "haters" is that they add to your story, they make you legend among those who care to learn the truth and in time you can laugh at all the attempts people make to tell a story that isn't real. As long as you do not live in that reality you are above all that toxic fray. Live among the others, the people who have seen, heard and lived the reality of who you are and see beyond the gossip and lies, that is where you realize you belong.

I tell my sons to write everything down, on paper and on a personal blog because there may come a day when what people write looks nothing like what happened. Having both can help one regroup and center themselves (and it's great for evidence if needed!) What is also wonderful is taking full ownership of who you are. Normal is being in the middle of the spectrum. Being Bi-Polar and seeing how society is told of this condition, how one is treated I've come to see that it's more hype than anything. Just another way of setting people apart. That is fine with me since my condition has been one of the best reasons I've come so far in my professional life. What others see as a detriment I've come to see as my greatest asset, my symptoms. (that's a blog entry for another day) So call me crazy (pun intended) but since I've been open about it for almost a decade, whatever names or excuses people come up with to chastise me or crucify me actually mean nothing to me. Haters are going to make me legendary.

2. All Press Is Good Press

Some of the biggest names in politics have told me point blank that "all press is good press". I've seen that first hand. Having volunteered for NYC politicians since I was 13 I've seen men and women who I thought were good - and evil - come and go, rise and fall and be vindicated or persecuted in the community or press. A couple that I've come to know have gone to jail. Some have disappeared, maybe out of shame or simply they grew tired of it all, never to be heard about and others came back from jail only to soar even higher (to my amazement but apparently not to others). Revenue goes to the ones who know how to use it to their advantage, good or bad. Companies who lie, cheat and steal from their customers can either get hit hard or spin it so they bypass prosecution. We read about these things every day. This is not new.

Having taught my sons that money is merely a resource, one of many they've come to see it for what it truly is. It does not define them because there are so many other things of more value in life and with an abundance of those you don't miss having great amounts of money. I laugh because I know people whose entire lives revolves around their bank accounts, it is what defines them and they all band together and laugh and point at people who think as I do - telling the world my opinion would change if I were to be overflowing with cash. This is the funny thing, I've made a million dollars in my lifetime (http://issuu.com/trendtotrendmag/docs/jan_feb_2014_layout_final/62) and I'e have traveled outside of the United States. I might not have done a fraction of what the wealthy have but I've seen and done amazing things in my 49 years. I've also worked in so many different types of jobs that I appreciate some things in all of them. I love working with my hands as well as working on team projects. I enjoyed field work when it was honest and I enjoy conferences and expos.

Revenue will follow anything that is being sought after. Supply and demand. If the demand is for gossip then it can be supplied and some create their entire lives around commentating on lies and make millions doing so. Others fight the good fight, lose battles but write books, go on interviews and win the war when everything is laid out before the public. As long as one is alive the ability to make money is there and in some cases even after death. Funny how people who have died have found their "stock" goes up afterward and it is because of their story and because of the stories generated. There is always opportunities to make money and once you decide what is your priority, to have the truth come to light, to make money, to ruin a good name, to hide your crimes from the public and that is where public interests will follow - as well as shareholder interests so it seems.


3. It's Not Where You Fell From But Where You Land

The internet is filled with stories of scandal and people being called everything negative (or positive) under the sun and the world being the drama-voyeur that it is watches as if everyone's life is a reality show they can enjoy without consequence. The difference is some of us welcome the world to come and watch and listen and make comments and opinions on every detail because when the truth must come out it must come out in its entirety. Groups of people being treated differently from others, victims paid off to keep quiet, closing ranks around perpetrators and loyal people treated like they're the enemy. Who doesn't want to know where the saga ends?

I'd been here once before when I'd tried my own hand at being a representative of the people. Having been a school board president while under the Bloomberg Administration I'd seen greed up close and how people who were trying to make ends meet found themselves having a price when it came to selling out on the good of the children and parents they represented. It is not for the faint of heart. My saving grace for never having to make those choices were that I didn't serve two masters and didn't have to. I had a job and I wasn't going to sell my constituents down the river for some admin job at the Board of Ed. Many did though. I saw someone who was an advocate for years and only making $30,000 a year turn their back on everything they fought for in exchange for a $125,000 job made up just for the purpose of creating havoc among the parents of public school kids. I thought then it was my job that saved me, that gave me the distance from having to make such life changing decisions. Decisions that of course would have impacted my family personally but worse would have negatively impacted all those children and parents for having sold one's soul. I was lucky and I used to praise my company and give them the credit for all of my successes because the people I'd worked for since then were the best in their fields and great mentors and allies. They've since left the company and had I been given the chance every time I insisted I'd leave for lesser pay I would have been better off somewhere else but I've come to accept and appreciate where I am today because a life is never over until its over and it's never where they made you stumble but where you landed. I landed on the side of angels and as it happens, the Pope. (stay tuned as my journey is one of amazing meetings and opportunities to really make a difference)

The wonderful thing about real life is just that. Come back to my "story" and maybe you can have a front row seat to the unveiling of the truth. Real life is public. Anyone can tune in as long as you know where and when it's going to take place.

Latinas Who Launch Lives - An Interview With Maria Aponte, Activist, Author, Poet, Performing Artist, Educator

One of the greatest pleasures people should always acknowledge is meeting someone whose life's journey immediately impacts yours. To meet someone to look up to, who can mentor you and provide insight into the world at large is a priceless gift. In a world where we can so easily be made to feel marginalized and non-existent regardless of who we are, when we meet these people we find that we are in the presence of a pioneer in many ways.

I have always enjoyed meeting new people and when those people are known farther and wider than the circles I am familiar with it is exciting. For here is someone who fearlessly left "the nest", to go forth and "seek new experiences" beyond what they were taught and what they knew. Yes, I wanted to be just like them and when I met them I tried to soak in as much information of new things, as well as old customs, as I could.

These interviews are of such times. Welcome to my series of Latinas Who Launch Lives. For so many Latinas it seems we all have our set road to travel when it comes to family and along that road we find that circumstances veer us off and slams us into a life we would have never imagined. Along the way we meet iconic people or horrific people and we learn valuable lessons from them all. It shapes how we think, how we feel and how we proceed.

These women in this series used everything that was thrown at them to make a difference, not only for themselves and their families but also for their communities. They survive to tell the tale. They survive because they are not going to 'go off quietly or peacefully into the dark night'.

Maria Aponte

Community Arts Activist/Educator, Poet/Performance Artist, Maria works in Latino Theatre against racial discrimination and women’s rights. She has written and performed two one woman shows, Lagrimas de mis Madres an autobiographical play based on the women in her family, and I Will Not be Silenced based on the life of Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz. Maria has performed her work at various colleges/universities and conferences locally and nationally.

She has been featured on Bronx Net, News 12 and NBC Latino. In 2010, Maria received the V-DAY Award for special recognition from the Eve Ensler Foundation for “someone who has suffered or witnessed violence, and then does extraordinary work to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else in their community.” In May 2013 Maria’s book, Transitions of a Nuyorican Cinderella won 2nd Place for Best Poetry in English at the International Latino Book Awards. Maria is a Career Counselor and Coordinator of Diversity Initiatives in Career Services at Fordham University. In May 2014 Maria received her Masters in Latin American and Latino Studies from Fordham University.

Maria is currently embarking on a new journey and is spearheading an event entitled Latinas Plus 50.

"In honoring these women I am creating an annual event that will highlight the selected Latina Women over Fifty who will be invited to a community gathering where they will have an opportunity to speak about their journeys of challenges and accomplishment. The women will be honored in their specific field, be it community activism, education, law or the arts. The inaugural Latina Fifty-Plus luncheon will be held on Saturday, June 21st , 2014 at Fordham University, Bronx Campus conjunction with the East Harlem Café, and I will be collaborating with La Casa Azul Bookstore to arrange press coverage for the event." ~ Maria Aponte

Interview With Maria Aponte

CMC: In a society that ostracizes women for getting older, does our traditional ways of reversing and respecting our elders clash or embrace women over 50?

Maria: In terms of ostracizing women for getting older I think that culturally we are in a transformation as to how society views women and aging. There seems to be a contradiction on how you are supposes to age, verses the idea that being youthful is still the cultural norm for acceptance. The whole concept of women aging and becoming acceptable is only about a decade old. And for as much as we publicly like to say that aging is becoming, it is not. When you look at the workforce and I say from the perspective that I work in a career counseling field, many older women and men are being phased out from their jobs because of age. When you work in a very youth oriented workforce the older woman tends to be shut out because they are placed in a category where they are related to the younger person’s parents age or what their concept of the older person should be and then the dynamics of interaction change.

As for our traditional ways of revering and respecting our elders and if our traditions respect or clash or embrace women over 50 depends on the person their background and family experience. In general, I feel that Latina women over 50 are expected to age a certain way and grow into the roles that traditionally has been held for older women. I think older women are embraced up to a certain extend. Again it goes back to the role that the woman has defined for herself from the very beginning in the family. So basically we are accepted for what we project to our families and to others. The tricky part is when one decides after several decades of doing the same thing and makes a decision to change, then it can become an issue for the rest of the family, friends. You are no longer in the familiar role that they know you for and that is the litmus test, will they accept the “new you” or not. Also, because we live in a more modernized version of what our parents and grandparents knew in terms of life style, cultural differences and interest I think that if a Latina over 50 is clear about what she wants then the support will come and should be there.

CMC: In your opinion, what do women over 50 have an advantage of over their younger sisters?

Maria: What women over 50 have over our younger sisters is time. And this is a personal comment not all women over 50 may feel this way. I feel that what we have is the wisdom of time. We have lived long enough to speak from that place of having had to deal with life in all its stages and have learned from our mistakes and are willing to move forward and let stuff go when we have to. I am not saying that younger women don’t I know some amazing younger women who are handling their lives very nicely and with strength. But there is something about being a woman in her 50‘s and older and the aging process that fortifies the spirit, especially after you have gone through menopause. There is a feeling of coming full circle with certain aspects of your life. That feeling of not doing enough or wondering if what you’re doing works passes. You are more settled in who and what you are. Because we have been through so many changes in terms of culture, society, history, modernization those life experiences do not come over night. I can certainly tell you that I don’t live nor think the way I did in my 20’s 30’s or 40’s. For me those were what I call the “life ladder lessons”. It was in learning how to deal with loss, death, and being alone that taught me how to be my best friend first. So imagine going through all of that and realize that you can have a certain kind of peace of mind that you value more than material things?

(PERSONAL NOTE: I love when mentors not only share their knowledge but also leave you with questions to ponder. Always take note. Did your mentor not only help you answer a few questions of your own but also set you on a further or new path? It is great when that happens)

Final question.

CMC: If you could please speak to the motivation and inspiration that moved you to begin this journey, can you tell us where would you like to see this event lead and progress to?

Maria: The reason I started Latina 50 Plus is because I felt that the voices of the Latina women over 50 was not being given that space to acknowledge their experiences. Particularly that my generation and older grew up in a time where it was not expected of us to be no more than what society wanted us to be. Our roles in life were delegated to being uneducated, working menial jobs and never to have the opportunity to go beyond high school let alone college. But that was not the way it was many of us went to college started careers were the groundbreakers for many social and cultural programs that started and are still in existence today, or have transformed into other programs. I wanted to create a program that would honor those women who stayed behind to make something work for their children and their community. Create a space for them to tell their stories and histories, especially their histories because history is slowly disappearing. I think it would be good for our younger sisters to learn from these women in their own words what it took to get to this place where information is dispensed instantly from those who put in those years of work and sacrifice to make life a lot easier for others today.

The future goal for Latina 50 Plus is to host an annual conference where Latina Elders will be invited to facilitate workshops where they can share their expertise in various career fields. Also, to start a scholarship fund for Latinas over 50 who may be in need to perhaps go back to school, take that art class, or self improvement workshop, Of course this is the concept and as the program grows this will be open to discussion. This is my vision as a Latina Elder and as someone who works with young folks all the time because I am surrounded by college age students and I hear their stories too. I want to leave them a blueprint and a map to the future and to let them know that with time it does get easier and life is meant to be lived with peace of mind and heart.

Thank you Maria Aponte.

Considering that I will be 50 shortly myself, this interview resonated with me on so many levels. As I am embarking on a voyage of rocky and frightening proportions, to meet such an individual as Maria always feels as if fate stepped in and reminded me that we have to seek out our next steps and solutions as they do not land in our laps as some would have you believe.

I was humbled and honored to be given some of Maria's time as she is busy and this new direction takes every moment she can allow outside of the rest of her life. Gracias hermana. May others, men and women, be made aware of the strides being made in this arena through your efforts and may you continue to impact the lives of people, whatever age, as you share your wisdom and your talents.

To support Maria in her latest endeavor, Latinas Plus 50, go to https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/latina-50-plus and donate to her crowdfunding campaign. The official website for this event is http://www.latina50plus.com/. See you at the event on June 21, 2014!

Carmen M. Colon is a mother, an engineer by trade, an education and childrens advocate, an author and a workshop facilitator on the topics of leadership, womens empowerment, career advancement and parenting.
She is writing a book on a series of "Dear Sons" letters to her three sons on an array of topics and issues and is conducting a set of interviews with Latinas whose personal journeys have impacted other lives beyond their own circles. It is called Latinas Who Launch Lives. Both books will be out early 2015.
Carmen's website is http://carmenmcolon.info
Carmen's books can be found online at both Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/carmencolon and Barnes and Noble at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/c/carmen-m-colon.

Bullying In the Workplace

There are all types of discrimination, not just the obvious ones. At the workplace, now with companies completely aware that they can be held liable, especially. Yet it is there, beneath the surface, one person’s way to manipulate another.

As a Latina I’ve grown up being told what my rights are. My family is in Law Enforcement. I take justice seriously. I take equality seriously. So what does one do when they work in a place that allows inequality? Should I do as I’m constantly told and keep my head down and just show up so that I can receive a check? Or do I complain, as is my right? What if in complaining and tipping the “apple cart” the powers that be put blinders on and allow Management to harass the squeaky wheel?

It’s funny and sad. I recognize that my saving grace is my sense of self – they can never take that away from me and me knowing my rights are the only thing that keeps me calm when I am threatened. And I am threatened, every day. For every day that things do not change, for every day that injustice is allowed where I work, I know I must say something. I tried for a time to let things be but I could not. There are people all over the world suffering and I feel it heavily weighing on me – my silence.

I could not be silent anymore, so I complained and they pushed back and maligned my character and are trying to attack the only thing they know how to do, my paycheck and I can not stay silent. They want to judge me on technicalities and ask that no one look at the big picture, their big picture. But I learned from the best, the very officers of the company. I know they want more of me, not of them.

They sapped anything of true purpose from that place. They don't follow their own company rules and yet it will be me who will have to prove my worth. Well, my entire life has been about service. Let them try to besmirch that.

Out On A Limb by Carmen M Colon - Free ebook on bullying and peer pressure

Dear Sons Failing Is Fundamental

Dear Sons;

Failing truly is fundamental so when you do fail and may feel like often I want you to welcome it the same you would a win-fall. I know you must think mom's screws are more loose than usual but they are not. We've had the talks about doing your best and giving everything your all if you want to succeed but I don't ever want you to forget that a huge part of succeeding is knowing how to fail.

The world will tell you that failing is bad but it's not. Failing is good and it's a part of getting to your goal. The world has become a stupid place, where you're told that if you make a mistake, even the first time around you're a failure. That if you try over and over but don't get to to a specific goal then you are not worth anything. Well you know what mom has to say about that right. The world can take a long walk off a short pier.

Don't EVER get on the merry-go-round hamster wheel that society has created for knuckleheads. Trust your momma when she tells you that life is not what you see on your screens or your apps. It's so much better! You see, no matter what you do in life, if you see the positives in your failures, you will always find joy and true success!

Ok, so here's how it works. You're going to be in a race on field day at school and you are set to run against three of your classmates. You do the three things I always tell you to do: you plan, you prepare and you practice! So, you know that if your race is on Friday and it's say a week away, you start immediately to take note of where you are that moment. What are your resources and tools? SO you plan your meals and you plan to practice so you have a better idea of how the race will feel. You prepare yourself, your body, your mind. You take each day as a learning experience towards your goal and you take notes on the things that you learn about yourself along the way. Remember the whole experience is the journey, not just the day of the event!

The big day comes and you're as ready as you can be right! Mom says you GIVE IT YOUR ALL! You go in with every intention of reaching that finish line. Then what happens? Maybe you trip or someone else trips and throws you off or you simply come in second or third. Does this mean you failed? NO! It just means you reached the finish line after someone else - THAT TIME. Or maybe you didn't reach the finish line - THAT TIME.

Apply that to other things, from getting someone to say yes to going on a date or landing the job you wanted or losing five pounds in a month. Did you plan? Did you prepare? Did you practice? So you fall short. SO WHAT. Falling short is not failing. Failing is stopping. Failing is giving up. Failing is quitting. (unless you're reading my other letter about how sometimes quitting is not failing but succeeding - emotionally.)

If you get to finish line first, great! If you get that job or that date or lose that weight, great! But if you don't THAT TIME, that doesn't mean you won't in the future, as long as you take notes on what you did and look and see where you can change things to make the next time better. YES, THE NEXT TIME. With every try you learn more and more. See, failing to get somewhere once is just that first try. I can overload you with dozens of quotes about trying and trying until you succeed but the truth is that every time you try you ARE succeeding - in getting just one more step closer to figuring things out.

I can't tell you how many times I've fallen short, in my professional life as well as my personal life. But it wasn't always for too long because I wouldn't stop trying. I didn't stop trying to find a job or project that provided me with what I wanted, whether it was personal satisfaction or simply money. I never stopped trying to find love even though my heart had been broken. I didn't stop looking for answers even though the questions sometimes felt as if they were getting harder. Each "failure" at each try was just a step, up, down, sideways, it didn't matter! It didn't matter because it was a learning step. If I did the exact same thing and got the exact same result well then, I learned that was all I was going to get unless I changed something. That includes even my attitude!

Also never forget. ALl those "notes" I tell you to take down? THAT IS YOUR ARSENAL. With everything you learn about what went wrong or right with a decision you made, you create a new weapon. A new piece of data for your hard drive on life. You fortify your bankability by having experiences that brings you lessons and teachings you about yourself and others. It's okay to go into something and win at it a first time. It's great if you can do it over and over but no one is guaranteed success every time, so be ready.

So darlings, think about what you want to succeed in, plan to succeed, prepare yourself and practice if you can so that you can better gauge what you need to do when the time comes and above all else - GIVE IT YOUR ALL! With each shot you take you really are succeeding, in your life.

Love you so very very much,
Mom

Love Mom

Carmen M. Colon is a mother, an engineer, an education and childrens advocate, an author and a workshop facilitator on the topics of leadership, womens empowerment, career advancement and parenting.
She is writing a series of "Dear Kids" letters to her three sons on a series of topics and issues.
Her website is http://carmenmcolon.info
Her books can be found online: http://amazon.com/author/carmencolon

Mother to three amazing self sufficient civic minded sons. Devin Christopher, 25, Fashion Designer, college student in NYC and youngest athletic director ever hired at a major sports complex in NYC. Antonio Fernandez, 20, choreographer, dancer, model, college student in NYC, has already performed with Cyndi Lauper at the Beacon Theatre and simply ready for his close-up. Taylor Aidan, almost 18 (at this release), HS Senior in NYC, amazing singer who is studying to be the next greatest sign language interpreter the world's ever known. (DISCLAIMER: Ok, mom wrote that.)

The Real Deal In A Universe of Phonies

My first contact with a phony was about 18 years ago. A co-worker with the same title that I had, same pay, same duties, came up to me one day during lunch and gave me his card. We didn't have business cards in our department since our primary clients were internal departments and not the public. To reach us was as simple as sending an inter-office memo or an internal office phone call. So you can imagine my puzzled look on my face when I take his card and it stated his title as CEO of a company I had never heard of. Yes, a Chief Executive Officer.

My understanding of what a CEO was had to do with the corporate structure I'd "grown up" with. I'd become quite knowledgeable on who was who on the executive level, what their backgrounds were, their experience, their skill-sets. I also had worked with this guy for about six years and I was pretty sure that I hadn't seen him in any Forbes or Inc magazine articles but I had never seen him featured in our own company newsletter.

Now I didn't judge, I was simply perplexed. Most CEOs were making six figures (remember, this was last Century) and well, they didn't punch in a time clock the way we did. I was mildly curious and I figured he could of course be some eccentric and crazy person who worked alongside the rest of us just to see what real life among the middle class was like. Yet there was something inside my gut telling me this guy was not only being disingenuous but ballsy when he gave himself this title.

Look, I have come to know many people who not only held a full time job but also tried to start a business at home. Twenty years ago to have a business card was a sign that you were on the way up or already there and if my co-worker had started a business then kudos to him. Yet to use the title of someone who you would expect oversaw a company that was either already established or possibly had hundreds of employees or whose cash flow had enough zeros on it to sort of make that connection a much easier one but he had none of that.

I asked him how many employees did he have and he said it was just him and a partner. I asked him how many years had his company been established and he said he was saving up to incorporate himself. I asked him how did he receive payment for his services (he was into organizing night club parties - sound familiar) and he said he was a CASH ONLY business. He used his beeper as his method of communication and while there were websites back then, he didn't have one.

So I did the only thing a girl like me, daughter to a former NYPD Homicide Detective, knew how to do. I looked him up in the yellow pages. I called the operator on my rotary phone and asked for the number of that company. Nothing. I got nothing. Then I called the Better Business Bureau but knew better to really dig because I remembered he said he'd been saving up for the legal fees to incorporate himself.

Fast forward two decades. The internet is a black hole of domain names. You could fill our own universe with the number of at-home businesses with a company of just one employee that filled out forms only to sputter and lose gas before really getting anywhere. I don't look down on any of them as they've gotten farther than those who are working out of their garage or den, using Paypal or Quickpay and filling their 1099s (so the government hopes) every year and who haven't made it official yet. Heck, I've tried my hand at two businesses, followed all the steps and after a few really HARD years I realized I couldn't serve two masters: my full time job that helped me sustain a lifestyle that would raise three boys versus my passion, whose cause and reasons sustained my need for fulfillment and satisfaction that I was indeed making a difference in my community.

Hey, I'm more of an idealist than a capitalist. At least I figured that out. I guess I'll never be THAT kinda financially rich.

After two decades working in cyberspace, going from a graphic designer, to a website developer, to an internet business solutions consultant and then a cyber publicist (came up with that title all on my own too in 2000) and now an internet data tracker and Internet Business Solutions Consultant I am in awe of all the phonies out there. Everyone has an e-book they want to sell and so many actually do! Yes, they get a hint of what the latest trend is and they slap ten quick buzz words or steps together and if they network their affiliations to other companies just right (because after all it wouldn't be an e-book if it didn't have a million links to MORE products and services) then for as little as FREE (hint: NOTHING IS EVER FREE, especially if you end up on a Squeeze or Landing page that wants everything about you, practically your first born - of which many will sell to third parties because they do need to make money off of you now) and the sky (because desperate times calls for desperate measures and if what looks like a popular e-book costs $49.99 then it must be legit right?!)

I've given so much free advice over the years that I'm sure if I had simply charged a dollar I could have bought a nice new car by now. So imagine my shock and then my laughing fit of hysteria when a colleague who had been constantly asking for free advice for years, stumble onto my own website, asked me for some more advice and THEN announced that he too should become a consultant. Dude? You suck. You come to me for advice, you don't do half the stuff I recommend and you have no track record, nothing you can show prospective clients, no testimonials but you want to hang a shingle in cyberspace and call yourself a marketing consultant? Sadly, he's not the only one! There's another person who meets up with new young and hungry young people looking to learn how to break into internet businesses. He promises them that if they hire him he can help their businesses grow and yet, the man is in debt up to his eyeballs and his own online presence is about as visible to the human eye as Pluto is on a CLEAR night.

Finding the actual experts, the real deals has become as rare as finding unpolluted water in West Virginia. Nowadays you can doctor up a profile and repeat it often enough so that the world will believe it and yet have no substance, no real ability to do what you your profile says you can do and make tons of money without actually producing a result. AND if this is how you make a living and you can sleep at nights then hey, Bernie Madoff sure slept well for quite a few decades but look at him now. Besides, since the beginning of time, snake oil salesmen and phony medicine men claiming to be able to cure all that ails you has been out there, except now, they have a cool business card or website or a gimmick that takes your money now and doesn't answer questions later. Caveat emptor. Let the buyer beware.

As to the real deals out there, and I know quite a few of them, I thank you. You hang touch in a sea of phonies and you do what you do, fighting to get seen or heard throw the roar of BS. You smile nicely to clients who come to you only AFTER they've been swindled and you make payment plans to help them because they spent their money on the shiny fast talking snake oil salesmen who sold them a bill of goods and now you have to clean up the mess. You should have been the first choice had they DONE THEIR HOMEWORK and not been so fast to hire the first thing they saw on the Google Search for those well-paid for keywords. There is a sure fire way to identify you and that's by talking to you and seeing your track record. Also by talking to those in your area and business community. The one great thing about identifying excellence is that you don't have to be liked but I'll bet you're sure as heck respected.

So, if you're ever in need of an expert, do your homework and if you go around telling everyone that you're an expert, you sure as heck better know what you're talking about because a business card calling you one doesn't make it so and knowing a few tricks doesn't make you a consultant, just a waste of people's time, energy and money.


Carmen M. Colon is a mother, an engineer, an author and a workshop facilitator on the topics of leadership, womens empowerment, career advancement, social branding, social media marketing and internet business solutions.
She is working on a free e-book sans squeeze or landing page (she's gone cyber media rogue!) as well as one that offers solutions to cyber businesses new and old on how "do-it-yourself" cyber market your website.
Her personal website is http://carmenmcolon.info
Her online professional resume can be found on linkedin.com at http://linkedin.com/in/carmenmcolon
Her company is Gotham Cyber Media Solutions. http://gothamcyber.net
Her books can be found online: http://amazon.com/author/carmencolon

Michael Bublé - Close Your Eyes [Official Video]

Some days I need to remember why I am here. I remembered why today.

Hidden In Plain Sight

We all do it. There are times we feel as if we are not ourselves and so we pretend everything is alright just to get home or to a place where we feel safe. Whether it’s at a party, or at the office or in church, there are those times when everything we feel, see or even touch feels foreign and out of place.

Some would insist that sounds like an emotional problem, others a possible chemical imbalance in your body. I suppose both could be possible but I’ve come to understand my suit of armor much differently. Those walls you hear and read about in lyrics are real and yes, they can be felt, even climbed. They are made by our fears of the unknown or fear of being hurt and they create an anxiety and stress that always seems to manifest itself in the weirdest ways.

For me it’s huge parties on holidays. I don’t really like them and yet I am known for throwing them. I find that some turn out to be amazing and fabulous memories and then there are those few that made me feel as if I was living an out of body experience, me just going through the motions. So why create the very atmosphere that might make me spend an evening of discomfort? To live. To see if they lessen and to truly try to enjoy those who have been caring and sharing over the year.

We are constantly besieged in this country with bad news, so much so that many do not watch the news as much as it was customary thirty years ago. The anxiety of the next sad or bad thing to happen, and life being difficult as it is, and yet more and more depend on social media to find those connections that going out to the park or even to the department store once brought us.

Which brings us to the most amazing of realizations – where else but online, in cyberspace can you pretend to be who you want to be, it is all masks. It is all smoke and mirrors. It is also the key to freedom if you use it to free yourself. Where else can you learn a new skill, take on a new passion, meet other communities and learn about new cultures.

People hide in plain sight I suppose because we all want to feel and be safe and when times are rough, looking for distraction and escape seems to be the road to least resistance. Yet, it can also be the road less traveled and more difficult but the most rewarding. Either get busy worrying and hiding or get busy exploring, asking questions and learning. Moving forward will get you somewhere a whole lot quicker than standing still or hiding out in your cubicle, in your classroom, on your couch or even – in your head.

It's A Thin Line Between "Law" And "Lose" - The Heartbreaking Truth About Homeowning

Ever since we were small we were told that a huge portion of the American Dream was owning your own home. I don't think it matters where you came from, it simply always was an indication of having succeeded in life. For so many people it meant more than just a place to call your own, it was a further shrugging off of years of struggle for one's family line. I know what it feels like to be the first in a long line of family to have accomplished a goal before any other generation. While my father went to college at night, he was the first in our family to graduate and when I did, I was the first woman. These things resonate far greater than just the chance to add a few zeroes to our salaries. We were setting trends for our family line, setting examples for our children and their children and so the accomplishment was held dearly to us.

It never bothered me that I needed a government program to qualify for my home. In fact I was quite proud that with help from my country I was going to begin creating a foundation in my community and I set about to not only be a model resident but to see how my presence can help others there. I was and wanted to be a true and dedicated "daughter" of NY. While all the paperwork was quite intimidating it was my love for the law that saw me through the first grip of fear. The mountain of forms, all so alien, a language that only lawyers could volley back and forth with ease, was daunting to say the least that even this engineer was timid.

I'd wanted to be a lawyer most of my life but engineering was the focus in my school and so my love of math and science began to overshadow my love of justice and order. I reached out to the spouse of a friend, a real estate attorney and with the stars aligned, so many of my friends pitching in, I happily signed the mortgage to my quaint one family house for me and my sons in the Summer of 2005. I was frightened at the responsibilities (many to be thrust upon me almost immediately and the rest almost stealthily as if to knock me off my foundation all together) but I had faith, in me, my desire to do right by my sons and my city.

It didn't take very long to find out that a two hour class is nothing but a horrible joke to a new home owner. No one can really prepare you for what happens next. If is as if the city agencies wakes from it's monstrous sleep and notices you all of a sudden. Now you are beholden to all of them for something. The money you thought you made and would be enough to exist in this new found "freedom" isn't and realistically could never be if you don't wrangle very quickly everything that you will now be responsible for.

You are expected to pay for garbage, even if it's not your own but thrown on your property, you pay for water, for heat, for gas, for light, cable if you can afford it. I laugh because I am sure I'm not the first, nor the last homeowner, whose first purchase was a nice TV and hooking up cable so that the boys and I could enjoy watching in our very own home a major motion picture, just as we'd seen so many other families do on television.

We are responsible for shoveling snow immediately following a snowstorm. (you have three hours grace or that ticket will find its way into your mailbox) You should know your recycling schedule inside and out, sweep every day, even if your nasty neighbors are the cause for all the mess, make sure that there are no pebbles or tree roots or obstructions that might cause an accident or you, yes you HOME OWNER will be held liable.

I used to want to be a lawyer, until I began having trouble making ends meet in 2008. Then the mortgage lender began making threats that scared even a staunch advocate like me. They could and would ruin my credit if I didn't hurry up and comply with their demands and then I'd get the calls offering these olive branches which were really horrible scams to get me to sign away my rights and my life's finances and according to them it was legal. I was being shaken down and I didn't see it until I was in a strange office surrounded by smiling lawyers, all who worked for the lender who tried to explain that although the refinance wasn't what I had expected it was the best I could get and so if I kept asking questions and refused to sign then all I'd need to do was pay a few thousand dollars and walk out. But it's because I was struggling that I was there to begin with and I stood there cornered, being made to feel small and unprepared and foolish.

It became worse after that first deal with the devil. The more life and the municipalities shoveled onto my wavering back, with fees for this and fines for that, I found myself getting ill, terribly ill. By this time I was working three jobs, my nine to five and as many part time jobs and projects as I could handle. It lasted a year and then the floodgates broke. I spent six months in bed, doctors (when I could afford to go) kept telling me I was working myself into an early grave and truthfully that sounded quite restful and lucrative, for my sons at least. No amount of studying could bring me up to speed to every pitfall that could and would befall a home owner in this town and this town didn't care what you knew or didn't know - pay up or we're coming after the house.

By the second refinance scam where I tried to thwart the NEW mortgage lender off by hiring an attorney for almost a quarter of my retirement savings I had come to realize a little too late that I had entered a red light district and that I was the gullible tourist whose only recourse is to either let them fleece you a little bit or barely escape with your life. The attorney walked away with all the money and did nothing to keep the wolves at bey.

It was never my intent to be someone so in debt that doing nothing was ever an option but four years later, two lawyers later, three college tuitions, utilities and car payments, water bills quadrupled with no notice later, I am so in debt that sometimes I feel death could wash it all away and at least my sons would have a shot at a life. Thoughts of moving mean nothing, your credit rating follows you and the bank made sure to tether me to this Titanic. My American Dream was a living nightmare and one I couldn't burden my sons with because while all this was happening, at least I'd had a sense to make their lives matter more.

Fast forward and now I am a Pro Se Debtor. Nice. It means I'm on my own. It means that the fear that gripped me from fighting had better find it's guts now or in a year the house that I've raised my sons in for the last eight years will be sold out from under me. No one mentioned that you had to answer the summons by going TO A COURT HOUSE until it was too late but what the hell, I believe in miracles and while I have amazing friends who said they'd help and truly tried, I knew that it was my sense of failure that drove my maniacal drive to work 80-90 hours on things that might bear fruit so that I could at least have options if the time came to leave this place.

I've told the boys and I do thank goodness that I was able to accomplish my mission: to raise my sons in a haven of consistency, a place they knew that was theirs to begin with, where they could lay their heads at night and feel safe and sure and energized every morning so that they could face the day and the world with strength and conviction. I did that. My youngest is almost out of high school and while there is still that chance that he and I might have to find a small place next year, at least I know the brunt of my work has been done.

I wanted to be a lawyer when I grew up and dealing with those who preyed on the unknowing has soured me considerably. Yet when I speak to my friends, the lawyers, the Supermans, the ones who go out to save the days for others, I may feel sheepish about how caught out there I was but they tell me I'm one of millions, all being taken advantage of. It seems it's easy money to swindle a family than it is to help it thrive and possibly earn a lifelong customer. After all we seem to be only a dime a dozen.

I loved order, the law and I might lose to someone else's brand of it. Then again, miracles do happen and maybe I'm walking from one fire into an amazing opportunity to help others. I have always loved finding the positive in things for others and I guess it's time I look at the positive in this - it may take a while.

So here goes, as I fill out my answer, truthfully, humbly, that I never set out to be a resident who simply couldn't comply with all of the city's rules and mazes of conditions to just live here and that now I may never be able to find something for me and my son if the bank takes the house. I don't think anyone goes in thinking all that, it's just they entered into a place that only few can truly survive. It is so sad that so many fall when if we all were able to thrive this city would be so much better off.

I love the law. I still do. There are lawyers out there still fighting for the little people. There are judges who know that someone means it when they say that given a fair shake they'd make good on their debt and there are miracles every day. As I get closer to the end of this eight year nightmare I find I'm letting go of the death grip of fear I've had all these years, the one where there is a knock at the door and my sons and I are forced to find someplace else to live. Well, I guess it's time. Let's do this.

Carmen M. Colon is a mother, an engineer, an education and childrens advocate, an author and a workshop facilitator on the topics of leadership, womens empowerment, career advancement and now on parenting. She is writing a series of "Dear Kids" letters to her three sons on a series of topics and issues.
Her website is http://carmenmcolon.info
Her books can be found online: http://amazon.com/author/carmencolon

K.L. Foote, P.A. Attorneys At Law - When Visiting Or Vacationing In Flor...

Dear Sons, You're Not What You Eat But You Are What's Eating You!

Dear boys,

Mommy has always been a "fatty". I do not know what it is like to grow up thin or fit, I was that pudgy girl that was teased and stared at in school. To this day some of my elders take joy in retelling stories about how voracious my appetite was as a child. I hate those stories. But the truth is I am emotional eater and so when that line about "you are what you eat" came about I looked in the mirror and wondered, "is this what a pork shoulder really looks like?"

Over the course of all these decades I only now realized just how in control of ourselves we really are. After all, we ate when we were happy, when we were sad, angry, frustrated and we definitely ate when we were bored! It didn't help things that my two favorite past times had absolutely nothing to do with being physically active! I loved reading and watching television! I loved the two distractions that taught me how to dream as well as hide.

Let me tell you something about being bullied in school because I was different from the other kids. Back in my day (goodness I can not believe I have to write that sometimes!) being heavy was unusual. I was the biggest kid by those standards and yet today I'd probably be in the middle of the pack. Yet kids are cruel and they learn that cruelty at home sometimes because their frustrated parents get diarrhea of the mouth and let it all hang out in front of the kids. You know what I'm talking about, your mom's not immune. There are those days mom comes in bitching about some reckless driver or the nut who didn't clean up after themselves at the office break room. I get judgmental when I'm frustrated, I'm human. Yet I'm reminded of the days when boys teased me and girls were so mean to me, simply because I was larger than them.

You know Mom is better for it now don't you? You've heard me say, "Mom's larger than life! Of course she has to be a bit bigger than the rest!" I am much happier with my body nowadays, although I still find myself grimacing at photographs! (yes believe it, smart alecks) It took me 47 years to realize that how I was feeling was how I was feeding myself. Now bullying is a whole other sets of letters believe you me but self esteem and self awareness are things I hope I've taught you all well enough so that you don't have to endure all the suffering I did within my very own head.

The power is yours. It always has been. The power to believe what you're told by others lies with you. The power to start a bad habit or stop one is yours. The power to believe what people say about you because you're different lies in your head, in your heart. Yes, we can buy that five pound tub of ice cream but what's the rule? One cup a day, if that, and never to self medicate ourselves because we're feeling something very strongly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the same with wine but I'm not on that topic now am I!
Of course all of this seems reasonable until you're besieged with name calling or dirty looks in school or at the office. Then your body starts freaking out and you want to hide and sometimes there simply is nowhere to hide so you hide in that tub of ice cream.

Your big brother went on an interview the other day and was asked what type of food are you. (First of all what Human Resources person comes up with these questions? Who are they channeling? Barbara Walters during her brain fart moment when she asked Katherine Hepburn if you were a tree what type of tree would you be???) But my darling eldest said he was celery and his reasoning behind it made me proud. (the fact that you are as slim as one sometimes gets on my nerves but we all can't be this amazing and curvaceous can we Beulah) He said he was healthy and mobile. Like celery. Goodness my son is brilliant. He equated his food as the resource it was, explained its functionality and its appeal. Pure genius, I'd hire him.

As I sit here, looking at my one egg and tomato omelette on toast I am reminded of those feelings being squelched after the first mouthful. I am reminded of a sense of love practically warming my young unknowing frame as I went through that pint of Haagan Daz after the last break up. Well,at least I loved me as I ate it to medicate my senses and put salve on my bruised ego. And this was just last year!

You are all coming to those wonderful ages of 18, 21 and 25! (Translation: Mommy is free! Kinda, sorta) I watch how you eat and if I haven't taught you how to care for yourselves by now I never will. You all eat in moderation, for the most part. You all have your indulging moments but I see you reward yourselves and so I know it's more of a present than a punishment. It's good to see how Mommy has handled things and then talk about it right! Those nights mom cried into her Lamb Korma, or Shrimp Scampi, or Tuna Sushi Rolls, hey, mom loves food! Or when I was pouring over IRS forms (last week) and was eyeing that Carvel Cake commercial like it was porn! Did you know that small Carvel Cakes are now $20! Goodness, are the milk prices that high in Carvel Land, what the hell!!

Mom's eating habits have gotten much much better and you know what, so has her outlook. I eat to live and while I love to eat, I plan for those times when I want to indulge in sinfully wonderful tasting foods. I try to examine when I'm in a foul mood or just moody period. Most of the time it's an old insecurity rearing its ugly head and I have to talk myself off that ledge. We all want to be loved and appreciated, to be respected and to feel relevant and needed. We give those distinctions to ourselves boys, not other people. We certainly don't get what we want from others out of a food container (or a bottle) either.

You all are so handsome and healthy in your long, lanky and lean frames and the chunky little girl in me is so glad that you don't have to endure what I did, what I sometimes still feel like in my own skin. You don't have that fear of being rejected or looked at as being weak or less appealing. Life is funny, human beings even funnier. For that is good in the world people would rather put high marks on body size than on what a person contributes to their every day life and those around them.

Thank goodness you are all so much better at it than your Mom. So go on and be that celery and be healthy! Mom's working on it and she's right now trying to look like a very sexy veggie/fruit smoothie, in a figure eight glass of course. I'm actually enjoying the freedom and the power to choose the foods I'm taking in and not giving into the feelings that come across my brain every day.

Oh by the way boys, someone has to go back to the store. We're out of ice cream.

Love Mom

Carmen M. Colon is a mother, an engineer, an education and childrens advocate, an author and a workshop facilitator on the topics of leadership, womens empowerment, career advancement and now on parenting. She is writing a series of "Dear Kids" letters to her three sons on a series of topics and issues.
Her website is http://carmenmcolon.info
Her books can be found online: http://amazon.com/author/carmencolon

Mother to three amazing self sufficient civic minded sons. Devin Christopher, 24, Fashion Designer, college student in NYC and youngest athletic director ever hired at a major sports complex in NYC. Antonio Fernandez, 20, choreographer, dancer, model, college student in NYC, has already performed with Cyndi Lauper at the Beacon Theatre and simply ready for his close-up. Taylor Aidan, almost 18 (at this release), HS Senior in NYC, amazing singer who is studying to be the next greatest sign language interpreter the world's ever known. (DISCLAIMER: Ok, mom wrote that.)

Dear Sons, Kids Are Spending HOW MUCH MONEY? That's Not Even Their Name On It?!

Dear boys,

Look, I was your age once and stop rolling your eyes at me because I was. Let me tell you about a pair of "jelly" shoes that your mom wanted. These shoes were see through and plastic and really when I think about it, kinda ugly. But you couldn't tell me anything at the time because it seemed as if every girl wanted a pair and I wanted to fit in, to be like everyone in the crowd and to have my own. Now your grandpa, who I still swear was switched a few years ago by pod people (ask Donald Sutherland and Brooke Adams, they'll know) always told me clothes and shoes were uniforms. He would schedule, based on the seasons, when to purchase our clothes according to our needs. Let me tell you, there was NO retail therapy going on at our house! Clothes were for specific purposes and play clothes were just worn out clothes that no longer served their purpose. Sooooo, my siblings and I received "school clothes", "church clothes", "special event clothes" as needed. No one was going to tell dad to please buy them the latest shoes because they wanted to be stylish. Heck, dad's response was always, "when you work you can buy yourself whatever you want, you'll have earned it. For now, I say you wear what you need."

Wow, I look back at those time and I remember feeling so dejected and distressed because some kids at school seemed to have more uniform choices than I did. But I look at the kids now and my mouth opens to the point I know flies are planning their vacations around me. So, these jellys right. They were ugly, I'm going to be upfront about it but I wanted them and I was determined to get a pair. I hounded my dad for weeks, put on the waterworks and just outright begged. OMG! (Goodness, how easily I revert to 21st Century text speak) Yes! My father breaks down and buys me a pair! And you know what? They were uncomfortable as heck, they weren't all that attractive and I think wore them once and never looked at them again. My father sat me down and explained that the $9.99 he spent was equivalent to about two hours of work for him. It blew my mind! All I could think about was how my dad was working for two hours and in all that time all he had to show for it was my ugly pair of jellys that I didn't even wear. I think I cried. I sure as hell never forgot and when I got my first job and went buck wild shopping and spending my hard earned $2 an hour wages on crap my dad reminded me about those jellys.

Now you know your mom and you know I've spent A LOT OF hard earned money on crap. Can we say "Retail Therapy"? (Call Alice, my shrink) Sometimes I can show what I've done with it and sometimes I shake my head at how I wasted serious cash on indulging my ego and inner child. I see young people wanting things not within their means and for all the wrong reasons and while I'm not as strict as your grandpa - pre-pod abduction of course - I do try to remind you that when you take those Summer jobs you make fiscally responsible choices, not only for your sakes but for your future needs.

Now ever since my financial advisor Candi Sparks entered our lives over 15 years ago, around the time your mom had to be on public assistance because times were hard, I've always tried to learn how to manage my resources better. Cash, moolah, duckets, paper, it's all currency and it's all simply a resource, a tool. Don't try to live to make it, don't let one tool overshadow all the amazing other things life has to offer and no I'm not talking about the next designer jacket. I've been pretty blessed. You all took it well when you were younger and I explained that mommy only had a set amount of dollars per week. I showed you the bills as they came in and I showed you how some could be paid and some would take time and effort. You were so mature and amazingly understanding when lights and heat went off and we lived by candlelight for a while. You would go to Payless Shoes or Conway Department Stores and never complained as we found sturdy long lasting items for you and me. It was as if the light bulb had gone off in your head. Yes! Mom would work 40 hours a week to acquire money and that money had to be stretched to pay the utilities, the food, the transportation (the Silver Bullet to us!) and our 'uniforms'.

I watch you all now and I see when you have that gleam in your eyes and splurge for yourselves. You've earned those instances many times over, as I watch you compare items when you shop online and I watch you weigh whether to put off a purchase until the semester is over. I am so proud that while you all have amazingly exquisite tastes you take care of your bills first. (I'll take some credit for that, after all I taught you quality before popularity and classic items never goes our of style and fads will surely always result in that retro picture you wish you hadn't taken) I marvel at how great you all are when you come asking for money and relay to me the depth of thought you put into the purchase you want help with. Even your designer choices make sense and you buy those items on your own, with the money you've earned.

I feel bad about the kids who don't plan, who don't understand the value of the dollars they are spending or the amount of energy expended to acquire that dollar. Designer stuff is nice but you can't live on those clothes if you're about to be evicted for not paying your rent or mortgage. Don't even get me starting on the hoarding of crap and clothes out in this country right now too! Where will they keep it all? Is that what their lives amounted to? Having tons of stuff and clothes? Will cemeteries start selling storage space for it all as well? Shoot, I'm in the wrong business then!

So, as you've all begun to embark on your lives as adult men (I am so in awe of all of you my darlings, how proud I am to be your mom) I want you to keep doing what you're doing and weigh in those lessons you learned from your elders, like Titi Candi and Titi Maddy. (Titi is Spanish for aunt) I've seen some "jellys" in your closets but I smile. We all need at least one, if only just to remind us of how silly we can be when we want something we don't really need.

Also feel free to pool your duckets together come Mothers Day, because Mom likes trips now, not shoes.
Love you boys!

Love Mom


Carmen M. Colon is a mother, an engineer, an education and childrens advocate, an author and a workshop facilitator on the topics of leadership, womens empowerment, career advancement and now on parenting. She is writing a series of "Dear Kids" letters to her three sons on a series of topics and issues.
Her website is http://carmenmcolon.info
Her books can be found online: http://amazon.com/author/carmencolon

Mother to three amazing self sufficient civic minded sons. Devin Christopher, 24, Fashion Designer, college student in NYC and youngest athletic director ever hired at a major sports complex in NYC. Antonio Fernandez, 20, choreographer, dancer, model, college student in NYC, has already performed with Cyndi Lauper at the Beacon Theatre and simply ready for his close-up. Taylor Aidan, almost 18 (at this release), HS Senior in NYC, amazing singer who is studying to be the next greatest sign language interpreter the world's ever known. (DISCLAIMER: Ok, mom wrote that.)

Dear Sons, Tell Google To Kiss Your... Wait I Have A Notification! BRB!

Dear Boys;

Once upon a time, in the last of so freaking long ago, when your mom was your age, there was no such thing as the internet. Yes, now pick up your jaw, you dropped it. Kids in their teens played board games or went outside for fun and to socialize. They waited until they got to school to tell each other everything and they rarely called on the house phone (yes a house phone, pay attention!) to gossip because parents wouldn't allow it.

Now I know you've all thought me harsh when I bought you all cell phones (once you all were teens and not a second before) and they only came with calling capabilities, no text and no data plan for you. But the phones were and still are what I consider a resource, a tool for emergencies. PERIOD. No one needs to be texting (OR EVEN CALLING) you while you're in school, because, WELL. YOU. ARE. IN. SCHOOL. Unless of course it's me or your dad and it's an emergency.

I love technology and you all know I'm all about the next best greatest TOOL that is discovered but all this "instant" communications" and "social media" technology is what I call "easy street to a loser's life". You can't live online. You can't experience life if you are too busy hashtagging, instagraming every meal and tweeting about every bowel movement. Worse still, you can't pay any of the damn bills either if you are too busy being distracted with what the rest of the world is doing!

Now, people will say that your mom lives on the computer but you all know the deal. I PLAN for my time on here and yes, sometimes I get carried away and instead of the allotted hour I look up and three have gone by! It is seductive to be where you can get an immediate response (sometimes) from people but it's not living. This is why I wanted you to grow up knowing what it's like to go outside, play with friends outside, not stay inside playing video games. Sure I must sound like all the other old timers but you know me. YOU KNOW ME! I see some of the apps you download and I know you're paying attention. You download utilities, yes! Rarely do you download games. You do pay attention! (Unless I ask to take out the garbage, or come home early, why is that?)

Let me just school you on these companies and not to put all the blame on Google, although they took the proverbial football and ran with it across the entire cyber universe! They do what mommy does, they gather data. They gather data all day long, the same as I once did when I worked in the department Data Extraction and Manipulation. (yes, this is why the Mayor and Chancellor called me a Rabble Rouser but I digress...) Mommy used to get information from many applications being used by her company. This was all so that I could generate reports for all the executives or any Managers that wanted a progress report. Now what I learned in the department is that I could actually make any report sound great (happy, happy, joy, joy!) or not so great. (OMG, WTH, we're in for it now!) That my darlings is called SPIN. I can spin great news or I could spin bad news because what the Managers wanted as an end result was what dictated that. The final numbers wasn't important to them, what they wanted from the people reading the reports was! Ok, let me break it down for you. All these apps track everything you do on it. After a while computers can estimate what you next step will be, so based on everything you're reading online, every movie or TV show on Hulu you watch, everything you buy (with mom's debit card) on Amazon, they start to send you commercials, in your gmail on the right of your screen or in the ads on your FB so that YOU will do what THEY want you to do, which is download something or buy something. Get it?

So don't "live your life" online boys and don't give companies any reason to try to sell you anything. There is so much more out here in this world than what the rest of the world is doing or the latest download can provide you. Don't be a statistic or unknowingly a participant in some company's crazy survey. Love the technology but don't let it dictate how you're going to live your life and for all the data collected in the world, be unique and spontaneous and responsible. Cellphones (along with the computers and gaming consoles) are tools, to be used to enhance your life, not take that away or dictate how you will spend your days.

I was talking on the phone to my BFF the other day and we were talking about it all. How people tell their lives, in excruciatingly painful detail, on social media networks AND how life changing doing something like that can be! What do I tell you??? Do not post anything that may affect your ability to live your life or get a J-O-B! Also, aside from the fact that this English language loving mother of yours cringes at the "HORRIDNESS" that has befallen my beloved language, how do some people communicate at all is beyond me!(yes, I made up a word because apparently we can all do that now, we don't have to wait for Merriam or Webster to do it!) When he spoke to the time when people had to wait until they got home to make phone calls and now people are dying left and right because they can't get their heads out of their asses because they absolutely positively have to spend every waking minute talking on their cell phones - WHILE THEY ARE DRIVING, I knew times truly had changed.

You are all of driving age now and so I want you all to tell Google and Pinterest and Instagram and Facebook and Youtube to kiss your backsides because your attention is on what matters! Your attention is on what's in front of your eyes, like the road and the school book or the smart board in the classroom or the face of the friend across from the lunchroom table and not texting each other while sitting in the same room. So you see my darlings, I wasn't limiting your life's pleasures by keeping you away from all those things, I was expanding your horizons. Don't let these companies who are only out to keep you distracted and poor dictate to you, you call me and let me know when you are on your way - THAT is an important piece of data for mom - and you use the cell to find your way with a map or to capture a moment you want to remember for posterity, that is what these tools are for.
Remember also to not be driving or doing something else either. Multi-tasking is alternating between two TASKS and walking is not a TASK, driving is not a TASK!

I know you all laugh because it seems I am attached to my phone every day but there are times when I turn it off. I simply get to the point where I've become over saturated with sensory overload. I pick and choose the hours I am available for people. I am not ever available 24/7/365 for anyone. (except you my darlings and the love of my life but that's a whole other set of letters) No, I will not answer every text the second I get it and no I will not call back in five minutes if I am called during my work day. Now, I will reply within a few hours, 24 to 48 hours most definitely, to not do that is rude. The internet and ability to reach out instantly has created some serious etiquette deficiencies out here. People are still people, so be aware and be kind but be firm. Set your times for yourself, just as I taught you, return phone calls and texts out of respect and make your daily schedule so that everything you want to do that day can get done or at least you've taken steps to get them done. Fill your lives with goals and milestones and events with people in the same room and don't live it in your heads, in cyber space or some other lame virtual reality.

Oh and one other thing, when it's me on the other end, all rules don't apply - pick that sucker up! I want you to bring home some cookies!

I love you boys. Be safe and do as I taught you, you'll thank me later, decades later probably but oh, you will thank your crazy tech savvy mom!

Love Mom

Carmen M. Colon is a mother, an engineer, an education and childrens advocate, an author and a workshop facilitator on the topics of leadership, womens empowerment, career advancement and now on parenting. She is writing a series of "Dear Kids" letters to her three sons on a series of topics and issues.
Her website is http://carmenmcolon.info
Her books can be found online: http://amazon.com/author/carmencolon

Mother to three amazing self sufficient civic minded sons. Devin Christopher, 24, Fashion Designer, college student in NYC and youngest athletic director ever hired at a major sports complex in NYC. Antonio Fernandez, 20, choreographer, dancer, model, college student in NYC, has already performed with Cyndi Lauper at the Beacon Theatre and simply ready for his close-up. Taylor Aidan, almost 18 (at this release), HS Senior in NYC, amazing singer who is studying to be the next greatest sign language interpreter the world's ever known. (DISCLAIMER: Ok, mom wrote that.)

Dear Sons, Repeat After Me, I AM NOT A QUITTER, Now Quit - Never Underestimate The Importance of Giving Up And Giving In

Dear Sons;

I've spent years trying to help leave you with tips and tools on how NOT to give up or give in. After all, it's the individuals who push beyond their fears that come out successful or at least fulfilled at the other end. Well, I mean all of that. When you dream, you dream big, you dream far, you envision the impossible and then you use your own heart and mind to get you there. No one else's. Not even Mom. I tell you this so that you don't make the mistake of hedging all your bets on another human being's actions.

Yes, and here in lies the rub as they say. That outside factor and influence. We put so much importance on the views and opinions of others that we turn over the very power and essence of who we are. Love is a powerful thing and it is fine when we come across those individuals who inspire us, who motivate us - who is Mom trying to kid here - who excite us and get us hot and bothered under the collar! (wow, if you only knew what that line meant to your Mom!)

Anyway, as you know Mom is a loving creature. Goodness, so loving that if love were currency, I'd have my own Mint and sadly I'd always be broke. I love every human being - within reason. Then there are those chosen few - oh those chosen few - who pretty much could write their own ticket on receiving love from dear daft, loving LOVE in all it's splendor in the grass, Mom. Oh how I can love thee, since the super geek mom doesn't count the ways, for she believes in infinity and beyond.

You all know how I love, I shower you with it every day. In fact you three are probably the only people on earth who understand Mom's brand of love. To love unconditionally, completely, without need to define it is such a rare thing for some people and while you've grown up surrounded by my Love Train on steroids mere mortals either drown in it or run the other way. Yeah, I get that a lot.

You've seen me in my major relationship mode and you've seen me hand over my heart a couple of times AND you've seen me vulnerable and afraid once I've turned over the very core of all that is Mom over to another human being. The older I got the more I had hoped to be able to protect my heart by being "practical", "realistic". Self help books on how to find a mutual love or a love that could last a lifetime haven't a clue! We are all so unique and have our own issues that really, to try and change so that we can't be hurt is just a waste of energy. No matter how old Mom gets, and you know there have been few and far between as to the number of souls I have come to give of my love, time and devotion to, I find myself always at the edge of that cliff- to commit to giving in to the feelings or not.

Why Mom is an "all or nothing" kind of woman, I have no idea. But I am and so, I have accepted that I would rather have my heart broken AFTER I'd given my all than not be myself, pretend to be an ice queen simply because I was too afraid to show my love and vulnerability to another soul who inspired me, motivated me, and yes, ignited passion in me. This is where the older, more responsible mature Mom is now finding her footing. The mature Mom part of me is snatching the young ridiculously in love young foolish Mom off that cliff and basically doing a Cher/Nicolas Cage move and giving her a serious smack across the face. "SNAP OUT OF IT!"

Your Mom is not a quitter but when the feelings begin to change, when the gut is telling you, "Danger Will Robinson! Danger! Danger!" Then Mom should extricate herself from her emotions, take some huge New York City block steps backwards. Love always feels good: in the beginning. It is truly like oxygen to a dying soul. Everything seems possible when a person ignites your mind and body. But all those feelings could be explained away scientifically. I take solace in that. I'm not losing my mind on purpose, my body is reacting to circumstances based on my experiences and my likes and dislikes.

What of these other souls? Well, I've come to see that they are as human and as fragile as we are and to place them on some pedestal because they have lifted us out of some everyday realm into a world of wonder and excitement isn't fair to them either. Also there are those who don't enjoy being pursued and once they see that you have them in their cross hairs they run faster than a gazelle bolting from Mufassa's view. (Lion King, look it up people)(yes I'm using hunting analogies because some of us more aggressive types simply see it as a challenge to get our love interests to reciprocate IN KIND.)

When is love ever right? Oh there will be times that things are going so well that you feel you are the main character in a fairy tale. Where you feel you personify the Prince Charming or the Warrior Princess (your Mom doesn't do scullery maids or damsels in distress). You can have days of perfection between two people and out of the blue you are gazing at them when they aren't aware and you're picking china patterns in your head. In Mom's case I'm already seeing trips to exotic lands and going on wild adventures like a pair of superheroes. (Don't judge, I grew up believing love was just like in Casablanca, still my favorite film of all time or even Gone With The Wind, where the men took on such a strong role of leading men who knew and had command of their environments at all times, Alpha male with strong and gentle sides saved only for their love interests. And the women? Oh the women were magnificent, not apologizing for their femininity but actually basking in it, all the while being fully capable of leading an army into war, more fierce than any general could be) Yes, Mom wanted to be Lara Croft and Scarlett O'Hara, at the same time!

I've seen each of you in love and I was so afraid that you'd gotten this from me and I am so overjoyed that you are so much better at gauging your heart-o-meter than I am. There has been heart break but our late night moments of truth have not been as painful or fearful as I had thought they would be. You have all acquired the much needed ability to see when things are not as they seem and when you have to cut your losses and move on, without seeing that dream of romantic bliss be realized. You are all so much more stronger than me.

I can count on one hand AND STILL HAVE digits to spare on the number of times I'd handed my heart to another human being - given up control of a better part of me, as an offering of my love for that soul. Well, you've seen it trampled on a couple of times and you've seen it appear at first to be a really great match: until. There has always come a time where in the course of my relationships decisions on how to move forward needed to be made. After all there were two souls trying to make their lives work. Then the really hard work about love took place. Compromise, sacrifice, commitment. Words that can drive the strongest of wills to drink and go mad. What's an overly imaginative, closet romantic, to do? QUIT.

Yes, quit. After years of thinking that I (MAJOR EMPHASIS ON THAT WORD - I) had to ratchet up some serious bonus notches so that the other person would have NO OPTION but to fall as madly in love with me as I with them I have come to realize that if I had put just HALF of all that love back into myself I'd see that my love interest was really not the one and I've had spared myself some serious heartache. There is nothing more lonely than wanting to be noticed by someone who is sitting right across from you and they don't. You don't ever want to know what that feels like. So, rather than pine away wishing someone gave you more, you should quit. Take care of your heart, your mind and everything else you were just too willing to give the lucky individual, for anyone would be blessed to be loved by any one of you - and me for that matter should acknowledge it gladly, and seriously save yourselves. Save yourselves for the ones that look at you as if you've made their day and the ones who want to meet you in the middle under that waterfall.

So yes, quit. "Get the hell out of Dodge" (City, look IT up people.) Everyone is worth loving and I'm sure the love interest is a great person but you must put you first and if you are made to feel invisible so soon after Cupid's stupid arrow hits then, please, bust his ass for me if you ever find him because that little Cherub has always rubbed me the wrong way - damned instigator! Quit trying to make a fairy tale out of an instant. Appreciate the small memory that seemed effortless. DO NOT PASS GO, do not collect bad feelings or land into months of emotional jail. Some will never see what they could have had. Some don't deserve it and some were only meant to boost your spirit and give you a memory for a moment and nothing more.

So love. Don't create parameters for it, that's no fun. AND DO give it all you've got and if over time, sometimes all it takes is a switch from one day to the next to see the truth, accept the truth. Any soul would be blessed in having you love them if I do say so myself. Don't settle and don't waste time on people not sure or ready to receive. There are too many songs of unrequited love and well, if you see Mom in her Bridget Jones impersonation, singing Melissa Manchester - well, then you know. Break out the Kleenex, give me your shoulder and make me laugh and feel better, just like you always have done. Ok, having all of you calling those people assholes for being blind doesn't hurt. But they aren't and once I'm over the disappointment I can be back on solid ground again, seeing them better for who they are: great spirits that moved me and I appreciate that about them. After all someone really would have to be absolutely amazing and fabulous to turn your absolutely amazing and fabulous Mom's head, right!

Sometimes quitting isn't so bad you see. In fact it's downright freeing. FREE. I'm so blessed to know this and glad I can share it with all of you. See, now I feel better. DOn't you?

Loving you always in my insane all encompassing Mom way,

Mom

Carmen M. Colon is a mother, an engineer, an education and childrens advocate, an author and a workshop facilitator on the topics of leadership, womens empowerment, career advancement and now on parenting. She is writing a series of "Dear Kids" letters to her three sons on a series of topics and issues.
Her website is http://carmenmcolon.info
Her books can be found online: http://amazon.com/author/carmencolon

Mother to three amazing self sufficient civic minded sons. Devin Christopher, 24, Fashion Designer, college student in NYC and youngest athletic director ever hired at a major sports complex in NYC. Antonio Fernandez, 20, choreographer, dancer, model, college student in NYC, has already performed with Cyndi Lauper at the Beacon Theatre and simply ready for his close-up. Taylor Aidan, almost 18 (at this release), HS Senior in NYC, amazing singer who is studying to be the next greatest sign language interpreter the world's ever known. (DISCLAIMER: Ok, mom wrote that.)

Dear Sons, The Wheels on My Bus Went Round and Round And Jumped The Curb On Crazy Street

Dear Sons;

Mom's at it again. She's trying to save the world and she left the house without her cape or brain for that matter. So sad.

Do you remember when you were all little and used to ask me about all the wrinkles on my forehead and my downturned mouth? I'd tell you I was practicing to play Worf's girlfriend in Star Trek, The Next Generation television series. Well, let's not ponder over that nonsense. Anyway, mommy always had a habit of playing chess with all of life's trials and tribulations. I always tried to figure out every possible answer to every possible question, you'd thought I was studying to go on Jeopardy.

"I'll take Worrywarts for $200 Alex"

What can I say boys, your mom is a worrier. But I'm happy to announce that for a while now I've been working really hard at not being so hard on myself. After all, it WAS my job to worry. I have the most important job in the world. Taking care of you. Now, now, I know you all are grown and practically out of the house but a mom's job is to make sure she takes care of her children. You shouldn't have to be the ones to worry about things like the light bill or if I have enough for tuna fish for lunch tomorrow. I know I'm doing the right thing by telling you when those things happen and not pretending that everything is alright. We're partners in life and always will be. It's just how I know that when the time comes for you to be on your own that you all will be alright. Yet I worry.

It's hard work so don't let anyone tell you differently. Juggling four lives is no easy feat. I wanted each and every one of you to have every opportunity to have good lives. It's why I did what I did, worked as much as I could, studied about the world and culture and places. We were doing more than watching silent movies or broadway shows together. We were scoping out all the possibilities and FOR YOU! I'll have my shot at seeing the world but seeing it with you, through your eyes really means so much more to me. For you, the universe was truly going to be your playground. But it's dangerous out there and no one will ever look out for you the way I do. What do I say? Out there people will say you're nothing, but here, at home with me, you are my world. Say what you want about your new found relationships when you get older or get into them. NO ONE. NO ONE will love you and champion for you like I will. There is only one me. Don't laugh, I know AND that my loves is saying a lot. I'm intense!

I've "been there" and contrary to what you may think, I've been your age, sometimes two, three times for good measure! Why that's why I started this letter because for a week I've been acting like a fool, acting fifteen! See, we can all be foolish mortals at any given time. All that's needed is the right circumstance or person to bring it out in us. Anyway, you know what I say about relationships. "Relationships come and go, but the children born from those relationships - THEY are THE FOREVER. You boys are MY FOREVER. While we don't live with dad you've never had to worry about not seeing him around. Mom would never keep your dad from you. You are the best part of him. Please understand that love is complicated. Mom and dad love each other, we just couldn't live with each other. We'd evolved into two entirely different people. But you boys, you are the absolute purest and best of both of us and we both love you. While he and I didn't agree on a lot of things when we decided to go our separate ways, while we both left feeling hurt, we were blessed in knowing that we couldn't place the burden of that hurt on any of you. We had to be grown up about it and put our personal feelings for each other aside and partner in parenting to bring you three up. So while your dad's life has moved on and you have seen him in relationships and you've definitely seen me struggle to come into my own, you've had us both there, the good, the bad and everything in between.

So back to Crazy Street. Sometimes I get too intense, as this mother does. The Engineer in me kicks in and I want to solve problems that aren't even there. Haley Joel Osment saw dead people, mom sees problems that she THINKS may need solving. I can't help it because it's what I'm paid for. I'm expected to solve problems, find pathways not traveled, come up with the next greatest and best thing for people. I scare people away because it's like playing chess with people who only came around to play checkers. I let my imagination get away with me and you know what that means! Yes, like the time I decided to take each of you out of school and the Principal yelled at me and I told her that my sons were going out to make memories and that one week out of school wasn't going to harm them! Then we flew off to Disney World! Yes, mom gets that way sometimes. Well, a lot. Hey, I've no regrets. Mickey was exceptionally great that year and boohoo to the Principal or anyone else. WE made a marvelous memory together. "I love it when a plan comes together!" (Yes, I'm Hannibal of the A Team and I love that you all know the show and we've watched it together regardless of how dated and cornball it was)

So this week mom was feeling fifteen and the wheels on the bus were just grinding and grinding and I gave myself a concussion practically. You see, there was this boy. Oh I can't be too specific. You all know mom can not be getting sick over imaginary things! Why I have every intention to live to be a hundred just so that I can get on your nerves when you're older. I have it all planned out! Oops! There I go again.

Mom's better now. Maybe the boy was a figment of her imagination but you know what, it was fun wondering for a while. I promise if anything real materializes you all will be the very first I run to with the news. So now, the bus is parked and I've given all the wheels flats. I've been as good a mom as I can be for these last 25 years (yes, I'm counting the nine months sweety!) and it's me time now. I really must stop trying to figure everything out, even problems that may or may not arise. It's tiring and no fun. Mom is in much need of fun right now. It has been an intense decade, that's for sure.

Mom's on a wonderful journey, re-discovering herself and her childhood and it's an amazing and wonderful thing! I don't think I've been this happy in eight years! And we all know why that is! Just reread my first book, Defining Moments! Mommy was NOT a happy camper. Settling into a life of serving my purpose always had me fulfilled but it's been such a long time since I've felt carefree, happy and dare I say it, truly in love? I do feel carefree. I do feel happy.

I look at all of you and see that being that serious mom paid off. We have talked through all of my mistakes so you'll have something to go on IF you ever find yourself in a similar situation. Remember though, don't worry your way into them, that's not for single people without children! Now, when you have children (notice I didn't say "if") then you'll have a bit more brain power to exert but this Glam Ma will be right there, laughing at you the whole time, waiting for my hugs and apologies. Seriously, you all were too amazing to raise, I can't say enough on how I'd live my life, the same way, all over again. Yes boys, the same, exact life. Every painful moment too.

Why? Can't you see it on my face? Because everything I did, every good, great, stupid, crappy, silly thing I did, gave me all of you and led me here. HERE. TODAY. THIS MOMENT. I am breathing in this moment deeply and my body is radiating energy, love and filling me with such peace and calm and pure joy. I am loving this moment. I am looking forward to the next. I have no idea where it will take me but you know what, no more trying to figure that out, then figure out "what ifs".

Well, unless it's "what if the boys cook dinner tonight so I won't have to".

I adore you all.

Mom

(look, no need for meds!)





Carmen M. Colon is a mother, an engineer, an education and childrens advocate, an author and a workshop facilitator on the topics of leadership, womens empowerment, career advancement and now on parenting. She is writing a series of "Dear Kids" letters to her three sons on a series of topics and issues.
Her website is http://carmenmcolon.info
Her books can be found online: http://amazon.com/author/carmencolon

Mother to three amazing self sufficient civic minded sons. Devin Christopher, 24, Fashion Designer, college student in NYC and youngest athletic director ever hired at a major sports complex in NYC. Antonio Fernandez, 20, choreographer, dancer, model, college student in NYC, has already performed with Cyndi Lauper at the Beacon Theatre and simply ready for his close-up. Taylor Aidan, almost 18 (at this release), HS Senior in NYC, amazing singer who is studying to be the next greatest sign language interpreter the world's ever known. (DISCLAIMER: Ok, mom wrote that.)